Why young people are having less sex: porn, cell phones, or the search for ‘something more’

Today, 27-year-old Andrés (not his real name) masturbated four times. Three times at night, because he couldn’t sleep, and another time during the afternoon. This jerking-off took place while he watched porn on his cell phone in the bathroom. He prefers his bedroom, but his girlfriend was in there. They’ve been together for six years, and have hardly had sex during the past two years. He considers this “a complicated thing,” even more so than when their relationship first began. “Sometimes it grosses me out just to think about it.”

For one societal demographic, the relationship with sex appears to be changing. There’s no end to studies that suggest that we’re having less and less sex, and particularly when it comes to young people. In February, French newspaper Libération published findings from a survey by the French Institute of Public Opinion (IFOP) that suggest only 76% of sexually active individuals have had sex over the last year, a drop of 15 percentage points since 2006. That decline is more pronounced among people from 18 to 24 years old, a full quarter of whom had not been sexually active, five times the amount compared to 2006. There’s also been a drop in frequency: only 43% of those surveyed are getting busy on a weekly basis, compared to 58% 18 years ago. British publication The Telegraph asked: “If France loses interest in sex, what hope is there for the rest of us?”

Fear of a global “sexual recession” was expressed in 2018 by The Atlantic, based on a survey that showed a decline among U.S. young people when it came to sexual interest. With each study, a new wave of theories is unleashed, many of them linked to porn. François Kraus, who was the director of the IFOP survey, says: “It generates such powerful fantasies that, for some people, reality becomes bland.” Other analysts emphasize burnout caused by our jobs; long workdays leave individuals without energy for sex. Stress and anxiety can also decrease libido. Changes in interpersonal relationships have been cited as well: digitalization can make the development of profound connections and physical contact more difficult.

Many articles agree that this is a problem, or even that it constitutes “Gen Z’s sexual crisis,” an “invisible pandemic” or “the death of desire.” But this view is rarely expressed by the generation in question. Given that fact, Kraus believes that young people’s attitudes could be in reaction to establishment, and in particular, liberal relationships to sex stemming from the 1960s.

Philosopher Margot Rot, 27, author of the Spanish language book Infoxicación (Paidós, 2024), suggests that, in the absence of taboos that once drove the desire to transgress, young people’s interests could be shifting. “Perhaps what is most difficult today is the prospect of creating intimacy. Among a generation less constrained by fears, prejudices and lack of information about sex, which in itself is no longer taboo, desire may have morphed into something else.” Young people could merely be looking for a different way of getting close.

Teresa, 26, hasn’t had sex since December, and she agrees with Rot’s line of reasoning. “It started out as no-boy December, turned into no-boy January and it looks like it will end up being no-boy February as well.” She is not worried about her period of abstinence. “While I think it’s great that there are people who are comfortable having sporadic relationships, I prefer to take it slower and establish a relationship based on trust.”

In Filosofía del deseo (Philosophy of desire; Ariel, 2024), writer Frédéric Lenoir suggests that, instinctively, people are rediscovering the lived experiences of past generations, for whom the period of getting to know one another was a socially imposed practice of courtship. “Not having sex on the first encounter allows desire to emerge, only it’s a desire that is not just physical, but more complete. Time creates the climate of trust that is necessary for the sexual relationship to take its course.”

Sign up for our weekly newsletter to get more English-language news coverage from EL PAÍS USA Edition