Bryan Johnson, the forty-something magnate who claims to have the penis of a 22-year-old

The following sentence is not from the script of an adult film nor a crude John Waters comedy: “Nighttime erection data from my 19-year-old son and me. His duration is two minutes longer than mine. Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and be upright.” It was posted to the X profile of 47-year-old tech magnate Bryan Johnson, best known for his unending fight to achieve immortality. Commentary on the post itself and via a plethora of media sources suggested his words caused no small amount of concern. Vice published an article titled “Anti-Aging Fanatic Bryan Johnson Won’t Stop Comparing His Penis to His Teenage Son’s.” But Talmage, the son in question, proudly shared the post. “I’m grateful for the way my dad has raised me,” he said.

This is the strange, uncomfortable, and for some, strangely comic part of the story. Next, we’ll talk about what makes it interesting.

The epigenetic clock is a test that analyzes chemical compounds in blood samples to analyze modifications in DNA associated with aging. To date, it has been used to analyze whether omega-3 can really slow down the symptoms of getting older and in gauging the way different animals age in comparison with humans.

In his battle against the passage of time, Johnson claims to have achieved an epigenetic rejuvenation of five years in just seven months. The biohacker, in addition to taking 111 supplements a day, collects his own stool samples, monitors the quality of his sleep and sleeps with a device attached to his penis to control his nighttime erections. And yes, Johnson has employed the epigenetic clock on the most discussed, feared, envied, photographed and symbolic part of the male body. His own, to be precise.

The monitor he’s using is called the Adam Sensor. Anyone can get one — or nearly anyone. Today, due to the interest in the device (which costs $191) that the centimillionaire has awakened, it has a waiting list between seven and eight weeks. Its sensor tracks nighttime erections by monitoring changes in penis size throughout the night. As the penis becomes more erect, the sensor detects its changes in size and records the frequency, duration and extent of these changes.

Johnson appears in numerous videos on the device’s social networks, in which erections are not only discussed as a health biomarker, but also as an essential professional tool. “CEOs know that high performance starts with the right metrics. And what’s more important than… staying power?” asks one Instagram video post’s caption.

“Introducing our newest title: Chief Erection Officer,” it continues. In the accompanying clip, Bryan Johnson himself, invoking the toxic gym bro culture that has successfully taken over U.S. (and global) politics, opines that “flaccid is weak.” “If you’re not hard, how can I expect you to go hard at work?” asks another man in the video. “I don’t expect the marketing team to create outstanding work if they’re not having nighttime erections,” he continues.

Johnson explained to Daily Mail that not even he was sure about what he was doing when he started. “When I first started measuring [nighttime erections], I didn’t know if it was a good idea. It turns out that a man’s nighttime erections and a woman’s nighttime erections — the clitoris engorging — is one of the most important biomarkers of anything about our entire body,” he said.

Urologist Eduard García Cruz agrees. “Erectile dysfunction multiplies the risk of diabetes, hypertension, of having a stroke. There’s no doubt that it’s a marker of health. I have worked with different devices and have to say, they provide very intuitive data. A diagnosis is more complicated, but it is true that with the number of nighttime erections and information about their rigidity, when monitored over a period of time, these sensors can give a fairly accurate idea of how a penis works,” he tells EL PAÍS.

“Nighttime erections are regulated by the autonomous nervous system and depend on good vascular and neurological health,” adds Doctor Gabriel Bastidas, a sexual medicine expert and director at Androclinic. “In sexual medicine, we use tests like the Rigiscan, the first device that allowed for the automatic and portable measurement of penile tumescence and rigidity. In this sense, monitoring these factors can be useful, though it’s not an infallible method.”

In the case of the sensor that Johnson uses, the device sends the data it obtains to an application that analyzes the information, sharing it with the user and recording long-term tendencies. “Although when used with medical criteria, these devices can help detect vascular or hormonal problems before they become clinically manifest, their use without medical supervision could generate unnecessary anxiety in healthy people,” Bastidas says.

Is it possible to rejuvenate the penis?

That is the question that has echoed throughout social media regarding Johnson’s experiments. Even publications like The Guardian have posited the query. “The 47-year-old tech millionaire claims to have the penis of a 22-year-old. How does he know?” asked the British newspaper. Well, according to his nighttime erection measurements, of course. But, how to get the kind of penis health that causes that rigidity? Sexologist Nayara Malnero says a diet rich in fruits, vegetables and antioxidants, cardiovascular physical exercise (to improve blood flow) paired with pelvic floor exercises can help. However, García Cruz adds an important nuance: although we can all adopt healthy habits, it’s impossible to go back in time to achieve that oh-so-literary “penis of a 22-year-old.”

“Bryan Johnson’s website sells supplements, but do penis rejuvenating pills really exist?” asks García Cruz. “Every study that has been carried out has come up with a negative response to that question. If a person takes those supplements, they’ll help a little, but I prefer to talk about treatments,” he says.

Although it’s impossible to completely reverse cellular aging, it is possible to optimize penis function and appearance, something which, according to Doctor Bastidas, has a direct impact on the quality of a patient’s sexual performance and level of satisfaction. “Healthy habits, the use of platelet-rich plasma to improve erectile function, shockwave therapies to stimulate vascular regeneration, hormone therapies in case of testosterone deficiency and implants or fillers to improve aesthetics and thickness can improve circulation, erectile function and appearance,” he says.

Johnson did talk about shockwave therapy during an interview with the Diary of a CEO podcast (his constant linking of job success and erections would make a fine topic for a psychology dissertation). The tech magnate claimed to have undergone experimental shockwave treatment for two months, leaving his member feeling “15 years younger.” He rated the pain from the shocks as a seven out of 10, nine out of 10 when they were applied to the glans.

Doctor Petar Bajic, director of the Center for Men’s Health at the Glickman Urological and Kidney Institute at the Cleveland Clinic, told The Guardian that research into such treatments is still in the early stages, and one of the biggest issues lies in the lack of uniformity in the way they are administered. “I can’t emphasize enough that this is not a treatment meant for everybody,” he warns. “If you’re not the right fit for it, it may be a waste of time. And if you’re not part of a clinical trial where you’re getting the treatment for free, it may be a waste of money.”

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