Beyond ‘I do’: Why today’s weddings feel more like theme parks

The wedding that Laura organized last year bore no resemblance to the one her parents celebrated three decades earlier. She and her now-husband knew what they wanted for their big day: a simple yet elegant ceremony; a banquet that would wow guests, but without too many frills; and an after-party that would leave the 75 attendees drained of energy. Although they managed to meet their own expectations, a year later they feel they may have gone a bit overboard. “I’m convinced that with less stimuli it would have turned out just as well, but we didn’t heed the saying “less is more,” she notes.

This feeling is neither unique nor new: weddings have gone from being family celebrations to multi-sensory events designed solely to impress the guests and make them feel that this is the best one they’ve ever attended. Just ask Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez, whose wedding in Venice has made headlines around the world, with many calling it “tacky.”

“The wedding we initially envisioned is nothing like what it ended up being. Being on the internet all day creates needs you didn’t know you had, and they’re easy to adapt and incorporate into your own,” says Laura. Enter the wedding planner, a fundamental figure capable of organizing even the smallest detail to help the bride and groom. But these companies also note that the ideal thing is for each person to plan a wedding that truly reflects them. “I remind them that it should be personalized to their tastes and that each couple is unique. There are couples who are less shy and have no qualms about making an entrance or bringing in King Africa; but there are others who aren’t into that. If it’s not really your thing, don’t feel obligated to do it,” recommends Mapi Casado, CEO of Me Caso con Mapi. “Many people think that if they don’t do it, their wedding won’t be remembered like the other ones.”

Food stands, bands, photo booths, illustrators, inflatable castles... anything goes at a wedding these days. With so many incentives, many have compared these events to theme parks. “We live in a world full of stimuli and immediacy. It’s influenced the evolution of weddings and the emergence of new things. You show up and you hardly know where to look, or you don’t have time to see everything. That’s where we come in. Before, it was just about hiring the music and the catering service, but now there are so many things...” explains María Oronoz, of the wedding planning company Martina por el Norte.

That’s when a problem many couples face arises: they soon go over their initial budget. “There are couples who can and others who can’t. They shouldn’t feel that obligation to say, ‘I’m going to do it this way because otherwise my wedding won’t be the wedding of the year or won’t be remembered.’ No. Your wedding will be remembered by your friends and family because it’s a day you won’t get to again, regardless of whether you bring in an artist or not,” says Casado. Laura thought the same thing: “We went over our initial budget and then realized it wasn’t necessary, that there were things that people didn’t even pay attention to. It’s important to take care of the details, but with your feet on the ground. If I were to celebrate it all over again, I know I would invest more in the menu and not so much in other things to liven up the party, like costumes or bubble guns...” Martina por el Norte claims that the traditional belief that you can recoup some money through the guests’ gifts is wrong: “If you add all kinds of extras, it’s impossible. You’re not going to find a menu for less than €230 per person, so often, even without any extras, you won’t recover your investment.”

With globalization, it’s increasingly easy to copy trends that are happening in other parts of the world and adapt them to each couple’s taste. Social media is playing a fundamental role in this matter. “Instagram is doing a lot of damage to us all in general and it is one of the reasons why some weddings get a little out of hand. The bride and groom prefer to pay for something pretty than for something functional. For example, they prefer not to pay for buses to the venue because no one will see that on Instagram, but they’ll put up some lights and a photo booth or something like that. Your guests might actually appreciate a bus much more,” explains Sonia Morvan, wedding planner at La Perfecta Prometida.

That’s why, sometimes, guests appear to take a backseat. “We have a groom who’s obsessed with his guests not feeling too hot. Why? Because he’s been to so many weddings where they’ve been out in the sun and haven’t been looked after,” says Morvan. She adds: “Before, it was like: ‘I bought some handkerchiefs and handfans, the guests are going to love them.’ Now they bring a band instead. When the band’s done, it’s the photo booth. When the photo booth’s over, it’s the 360º activity. There aren’t enough hours to take it all in.”

Casado shares a similar opinion: “It’s better to do a few things properly than to overdo it and leave guests feeling confused.” Many couples believe that the more stimuli there are, the more surprising their wedding will be. “If you go to a wedding where there’s nothing going on, many people might think: ‘Wow. They didn’t spend anything on this.’ And that’s a shame. I find more understated weddings to be much more elegant, where you’ve worked hard on the aesthetics and where there’s no need to set up a circus,” says Oronoz.

Just as new traditions emerge, others seem to fall by the wayside. Fewer and fewer couples choose to give guests a gift as a reminder of the day. “Many think, ‘Why should I give them anything? They’ll already get the photo booth pics, the espadrilles to wear at night...’ They don’t give it as much importance as they used to. Now many decide to donate it to charities instead,” explains Morvan.

A year after her wedding, Laura knows what she would tell her past self: “Less is more. Your wedding day should be about enjoying that time with family and friends, not being preoccupied with a thousand stimuli that sometimes nobody notices anyway. I tell my friends to do what they really want to do, and not feel pressured to leave their mark.”

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