I’ve been a wedding photographer and these are the mistakes I’m not going to make at mine

A wedding photo shoot is one of the essential parts of any wedding. For me, it’s essential. Although I wasn’t fully aware of it until my partner organized a surprise party for my 30th birthday, and the next day we didn’t have a single photo, just a video of my surprised face when I arrived at the venue...

Photography couldn’t be absent from our wedding, and two things were clear:

• Two professional photographers. On the one hand, I think it’s essential that there are two people, because you can be sure that everything that happens will be captured. And on the other, they must be professionals because at a wedding everything is unpredictable, and you need people who are able to improvise and adapt at all times. If you’re already married, you’ll know this, but if not, a lot happens, and it all happens very quickly.
• One wedding a day. There are photographers who are such big brands that they shoot more than one wedding on the same day, and to do so, they have to hire other people. We prefer to avoid this option because we want to know the people who will be there on the wedding day; we want it to be like having a friend nearby.

Now I’d like to talk to you as a bride-to-be, but also as a photographer, because I’ve worked for several years shooting weddings. I learned a lot about what I wanted and what I didn’t, and I’d like to share it with you, in case it gives you any insights. I’m going to do so accompanied by what I’ve learned from other professionals with decades of experience in the field and in other photographic fields such as fashion and photojournalism. These are two couples: Nuria and Javi, (Boquerón á Feira), and Hugo and Vega, (Ferrer & Mayor).

I want to start with a reflection Nuria and Javi have on wedding photography, because there are still many people who consider it “a bit tacky or unnatural. But nowadays, there are professionals from many fields who have a very creative vision and a great deal of sensitivity.” With that in mind, let’s begin:

Yes to family portraits

These don’t have to be the old-fashioned static portraits; there are other ways to do it. My recommendation is not to pass up the opportunity. Although there’s a catch: the time you’ll need to dedicate to them.

Nuria and Javi say that many couples often regret “taking group photos for too long.” That’s why it’s important to discuss this with your photographers beforehand, so they can advise you, as Boquerón á Feira does, on the best way to do it “so you can create good memories with the family, but at the same time, so that it doesn’t take away from the wedding itself.”

On the other side of the coin are those who later regret “not taking a photo with their grandparents. A photo, without artistic intention, simple and straightforward, that serves as a testimony,” Hugo and Vega say.

“At Marta and Arnau’s wedding in the Huesca Pyrenees, Arnau’s father said how we inhabit the bodies our ancestors lend us. Every day I become more like my grandfather. How about a nice tribute in the form of a photograph with our grandparents? They’ll be moved, and we’ll be moved,” Hugo explains.

Yes to couple portraits: quick and nearby

It doesn’t have to take a long time or require you to travel to a distant location. A few minutes are enough (hence the importance of trained professionals), which also gives you a moment to spend alone with your partner amid all the hustle and bustle (believe me, you’ll need it).

And now, the controversial part: to pose, or not to pose? Nobody wants to pose, of course. “It’s one of the most common fears we come across when we meet with couples,” confess Nuria and Javi, who believe that “there’s a misconception that to have couple portraits on your wedding day you have to pose, but luckily, there are tricks to let the couple be themselves while still reflecting naturalness and mutual understanding.”

Yes to having a connection with photographers

Because “they’ll spend the whole day by your side. If you feel comfortable, you can forget about the camera and achieve a natural result,” Nuria and Javi say. So much so that they become guests at the wedding, and sometimes even friends. Hugo and Vega recount these wonderful anecdotes with some of their couples:

“Birte [a bride] invited us to some of her German liqueur while we were having dinner, sitting and toasting with us, which reflects a connection we cherish. Gosia [a bride from the South of France], dressed in a beautiful, pristine, white wedding dress, offered us water during cocktail hour in the chateau garden, as we didn’t have any; she dropped everyone and everything at her wedding and ran to the kitchen to fill a pitcher for us. Vanessa and Chadwick [a couple in Texas] gave us their home and bed for the days we were there, and we went to their favorite coffee shop in the mornings.”

No to taking photos while eating

Having photographers between tables while eating is annoying for guests, but the resulting images aren’t worth much — because no one likes a photo of themselves stuffed or opening their mouths to eat. I do advocate taking out phones for selfies or group photos. But under no circumstances should group photos be taken at the tables, much less distracting people from their plates...

Yes to telling the photographers everything

From who is essential at the wedding (so they can pay special attention to those people) to any surprises that guests might have planned. In this case, the trick is to give the photographers’ contact information to someone you trust, so they can keep them informed (it really helps to have this information in advance: like a mechanical bull after the dance, or a performance by a cousin who plays the violin…). It’s also important to ask the photographers how they work. Even if some concepts are unclear, this conversation often brings up points you might want to adjust or handle differently.

Yes to explaining the preparations

Beautiful images emerge with family or friends who are with us during this special day. I know it may seem invasive, and it really is, which is why it’s essential to maintain the connection we talked about earlier. And I’m not talking about posed shots; I’m talking about the photographer as a reporter, capturing the gestures and moments that unfold.

No to cell phones

(Not even adding a QR code to create a shared photo folder. That ad that plagues me so much on every Instagram reel... What a nightmare, really.) That’s what wedding photographers are for: to capture everything that happens. Why do you need a hundred blurry, poorly framed photos as soon as possible? To share on social media? We don’t want photos filled with cell phones...

To prevent guests from getting in the way of moments like the couple’s entrance or exit from the ceremony, it’s best to warn them in advance not to take out their phones, to stay calm, and that there will be photos. “People often forget that there’s someone already doing that job, whom the couple has hired, so it’s easy for spontaneous people to want to record that moment and get in front of the camera,” say Nuria and Javi. Their advice is for couples to warn guests in advance to “leave their phones in their pockets and enjoy the moment” because “without realizing it, they’re ruining the memory that person will have, whether they block the photographer’s view or if 50 hands appear in the background with their phones raised.”

“When you put your phone down, you begin to perceive and feel more intensely. The hug of your best friend, the bride. The music playing during the ceremony, the sermon of a modern priest, or the silence of a furtive kiss...” Hugo and Vega remind us.

Don’t trust only what you see on social media, because it’s not the whole truth

“When choosing a photographer, it’s important to be able to see that person’s entire wedding and not just be swayed by social media photos. Having good individual photos isn’t the same as being able to tell the story of a wedding from beginning to end or knowing how to properly edit all the wedding footage,” explain Nuria and Javi. If you see an entire wedding, you’ll see all the photographs. If they’re framed poorly, for example, if there are too many shots of details and too few of people, or if they’re the wrong way around... In other words, you’ll be able to get a better idea of what your wedding reportage will be like.

Yes to paying for good work and signing a contract

There are things we don’t think about when we see the quote a photographer sends us, and I often hear how expensive their service is, and I don’t agree. It’s not just the 12 or 14 hours of work on the wedding day with heavy and expensive equipment: “You’re paying for the professionalism these people have acquired throughout their lives with their studies and various training courses, the good photography equipment that also facilitates a better result, all the subsequent hours of post-production (editing and retouching), the editing programs to work with, and the online galleries where the wedding is delivered. You also pay for the security of having duplicate work on external drives and in the cloud,” explain Nuria and Javi. In addition, of course, to VAT, personal income tax, and self-employment payments.

Regarding the contract, it’s important to sign it because it’s a safeguard for both parties. It details the reservation of the date and what will happen in case of cancellation (for example, due to medical or family issues), data protection, and delivery times for the material, among other clauses. It gives me a lot of peace of mind, don’t you think?

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