The benefits of shutting up

In today’s world, we are surrounded by relentless noise, unlike any other time in history. The proliferation of social media has inundated our daily lives with a constant deluge of information. Our mobile phones bombard us with breaking news alerts, Twitter posts, Instagram notifications, and the relentless buzz of WhatsApp groups sharing words and memes non-stop. Some commuters play their favorite podcasts on tinny phone speakers, until two wannabe rappers hop on your subway car, blast their music and start freestyling about fellow passengers. At work, the constant hum of conversation serves as the day’s soundtrack. Noise, noise and more noise. It feels like silence has been relegated to mountaintop monasteries. It’s now seen as dangerous void that must be filled so it doesn’t swallow us whole.

Journalist Dan Lyons published a book last year called STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut, which asks the question, “Do we really need everyone on this planet sharing all their opinions about everything all at once?” Lyons is quoting YouTuber Bo Burnham, whose question forms the main theme of the book. Amid the constant noise, staying silent is not only generous to others, it’s therapeutic for oneself. It’s also a key skill for professional growth since restraint of the tongue helps you make fewer mistakes and offers health benefits. Trying to cut through all the noise to present your views can be stressful and frustrating. People who steer clear of controversy often earn more credibility.

This aligns with two principles from a book written by Robert Greene and inspired by Machiavelli: The 48 Laws of Power (1998). Greene’s fourth law advises speaking less — the more you talk, the more vulnerable you become and the less control you have over the situation. Powerful individuals impress with concise speech. Talking too much increases the chance of saying something foolish. Greene’s sixteenth law highlights the power of absence in gaining respect and admiration. This law anticipates the impact of social media, emphasizing that being overly visible can diminish your perceived value. Creating some distance can spark intrigue and admiration, as scarcity tends to increase worth.

These two “laws” go against the grain of social media, where everyone is jockeying for visibility, even if it’s in a seconds-long reel. Instead, Greene emphasizes the importance of silence. In a noisy world, the quiet ones are often the most interesting people, as silence adds elements of mystery and allure.

Since we don’t know how to keep quiet anymore, let’s go back to Dan Lyons’ book, where he lays out five principles.

Whenever possible, say nothing. Unless, as a Japanese proverb says, your words are better than silence. Be more like Dirty Harry and less like Jim Carrey.

Discover the power of pauses. Effective speakers master the art of empty space. Pause for two seconds before or after a sentence, take a breath, and let the listener digest your words. Well-timed silence speaks volumes.

Quit social media. Many platforms are made to be addictive. If your job requires you to use social media, try to spend less time there.

Seek out silence. Information overload can lead to constant agitation and overstimulation, which causes health problems and can even shorten your life. Give your brain a break.

Learn to listen. This is an effective method for staying silent, but it takes effort. It means fully engaging in listening without judgment or distractions. Remember, making others feel heard will bring them great happiness.

When we learn to keep our mouths shut, Lyons explains, we experience remarkable changes. We become calmer, less anxious, and gain better control over our lives.

Focus!

In Stolen Focus, British writer and journalist Johann Hari writes that our ability to concentrate is in very bad shape. Recent studies show that teenagers can focus on a task for about 65 seconds on average, while the attention span of adults typically lasts no more than three minutes. It’s important to know that the human brain isn’t built for multitasking. An MIT professor told Hari, “Humans are very single-minded.” To focus, we need to eliminate distractions and take tasks one at a time.

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