Ikea Shanghai becomes a hot spot for senior dating

In the Ikea cafeteria in Shanghai, dozens of elderly people meet every Tuesday to have a chat and make friends. For years, retired men and women, widowers, divorcees and singles, from the age of 50 onward, arrive around 1 p.m., take their seats, and open bags of food and thermoses of tea they bring from home. They peel tangerines, eat sunflower seeds, and get up again and again to refill their cups of free coffee.

They look like teenagers on a Friday afternoon in the park. Some sit alone, waiting for someone to approach, like that lady over there so upright staring at the table. Others have known each other for years and move from one group to another. The weekly meetings are organized through WeChat, the Chinese version of WhatsApp. Sometimes those attending number more than 100 and fill the place. This correspondent has joined them on occasion. The first time, in 2024; the second, in February of this year, when they were forced to abandon their usual Ikea due to remodeling works. No matter. They continued to meet at another of the Swedish multinational’s establishments in Shanghai.

They are open and friendly. The elegant Mr. Yu Zhixin in a black suit jacket, purple tie and white shoes chats animatedly with Mrs. Ying Ying, 70, while they husk peanuts. He has been coming for more than two years. “The goal is not to look for a girlfriend, but to make friends and, if things go well, maybe form a couple,” he says. He is looking for someone to live with, who wants to accompany him in old age. His son lives abroad and cannot take care of him.

“Nowadays older people don’t feel like going to nursing homes,” Ying Ying adds. It is the second time she has attended the meetings and she considers herself a rookie. She says that, with her pension, she does not lack money. At her age, “almost the only concern is aging and death.” She believes that when she gets older she will lose the ability to move and will have to either to go to a nursing home as her children are too busy to look after her or look for a partner who can take care of her. “That’s why I’ve come,” she says.

This scenario is a reflection of a human geography in transition. Those over 60 today number almost 300 million in China; they account for more than a fifth of the population. And 54% — about 160 million — live alone, according to the 2023 China Longitudinal Study of Health and Retirement, collected by the media Yicai. The country is suffering from a collapse in the birth rate and a growing aging demographic that threatens to undermine its economic development model. It could also jeopardize its pension system, making it financially unviable by 2035, according to the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences.

The situation has forced the government to address the elderly care sector. At the same time, Beijing promotes the so-called silver economy that consists of products and services for the elderly — a sector that “enjoys enormous potential,” according to the People’s Daily, the official newspaper of the Communist Party.

The seniors that frequent the Ikea café are unlikely to be drawn in. Their expenditure is not high. They are not interested in spending money. “I feel lonely and human beings need to talk to other people, it makes us feel happy,” says Li Shi Qi, 77, whose bony fingers are stained with ink. He is a painter with a technique using brushes and hammers bathed in ink. Creating a certain amount of chaos, he comes to the Ikea group with his utensils and cardboard. He has been attending regularly for more than 10 years.

“The activity is not organized by anyone, it does not have a leader, we do it voluntarily, it is natural that people want to have a partner,” he says. He found a partner last year at these meetings. But it has not stopped him from coming. He has also made numerous friends and likes to spend time chatting with them.

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