“Merkel smells of power and respect”

Cándido Méndez, 60, is spending his 15-day summer vacation at a rental apartment in Zahara de los Atunes (Cádiz), a favorite holiday spot for the cool crowd. The secretary general of UGT, one of Spain’s two main labor unions, seems a changed man since his recent meeting with German chancellor Angela Merkel.

Q. Lately, the holidaymaking of union leaders commands greater media attention than the royal family’s vacations. Give me details: duration, place and budget.

A. Fifteen days, Zahara de los Atunes, a rental apartment for 1,300 euros the fortnight. We eat our meals at home, just like we do in Madrid.

Q. To me, Zahara sounds like a place where progressives like to go — you know, TV performer El Gran Wyoming, actress Aitana Sánchez Gijón, actor Imanol Arias, singer-songwriter Javier Krahe... Do you meet up with them for beers?

A. I only had a few once with Pablo Carbonell and last Sunday I ran into Wyoming at a bar as I was watching a soccer match. I like what they say, what they sing, and I like the fact that they drive the same people crazy who we drive crazy.

Q. Former Socialist Prime Minister Felipe González has just had an express marriage. He skipped over the waiting list at the civil registry, rented out a mansion in Ibiza and is also renting a yacht. Any critical thoughts on that?

A. Felipe is building himself a new life with his savings from his former life, and it’s not that he’s in a rush, it’s just that, as the Latin saying goes, tempus fugit, time flies. And after a certain age...

Q. When Felipe, former conservative Prime Minister José María Aznar and other “exes” retire, they get advisory positions at the tune of over 100,000 euros per snooze. Aren’t you tempted by the other trench?

A. I am not the kind of man who likes death-defying jumps, and besides, I like this trench right here, which is nice and clean.

Q. Of your meeting with Angela Merkel, all I’m interested in are the juicy details. Did she smell good? Is she as short as she appears to be on TV? Were there any knowing winks?

A. Everyone smelled good there because we are all people who dutifully perform our morning ablutions. And there was another figurative smell, which is the smell of power and of respect for unions. I know out of personal experience that we all look better in person than we do on TV. And so does Merkel. There were no winks, but I did catch a few perplexed expressions on her face. I had the weird feeling that we were revealing to her things in connection with Spain’s dark legends that she was hearing for the first time.

Q. Don’t kid yourself. No general strike, no action-packed fall. Is my Christmas bonus at risk of extinction?

A. I wouldn’t put it past this government of believers to crush the spirit of Christmas. Part of the Church hierarchy would applaud that. But that paycheck, despite its name, is not related to Christmas but to working your butt off month after month, and it is part of your salary. We will defend it tooth and nail.

Q. The suspended judge and now lawyer for Julian Assange, Baltasar Garzón, has stated that there are greater legal safeguards in Ecuador than in Sweden. That’s a bit much, isn’t it?

A. When Baltasar speaks about justice, he knows what he is talking about. And after reading the Millennium trilogy, one reaches the conclusion that not everything that glitters in Sweden is gold.

Q. Are you surprised by the devotion that the Spanish left shows to someone like Baltasar Garzón, who is on a first-name basis with Santander Group chief Emilio Botín, asks him for money and goes hunting on weekends?

A. There is no devotion there. What we do is recognize his work. I am one of those people who think that current events have a lot to do with the fact that he truly attempted to close one of the darkest chapters in our past: Francoist repression.

Q. You look a bit like Juan Manuel Sánchez Gordillo, the crusading communist mayor of Marinaleda. I like that guy.

A. I’m a regular guy of a certain age with a beard and a belly. A lot of people say they get the two of us confused. This episode [when Gordillo led raids on supermarkets and distributed the goods among food banks] provides proof of the double standard and the relativism of a lot of people who go blue in the face criticizing Gordillo, or who want to condemn unemployed people to hell, but then are complacent and even fawning when it comes to people who committed major financial fraud.

Q. Since Rajoy is boring, because he is predictable even when he lies, I won’t ask you anything about him. I’ll just let you expand on the subject. Insults are permitted.

A. I am not the insulting type, but I think it is an insult to our intelligence on Rajoy’s part to justify his policies simply by blaming the unemployed, the civil servants, the unions, people with no decision-making powers and the inheritance he received [from the previous Socialist administration].