We can all be masochists: Why we seek experiences that connect pleasure with pain

What comes to mind when you imagine a masochist? American writer Leigh Cowart suggests that it could be someone who breathes through a hole in a latex suit. Or a person who works too hard, who obsessively bites their cuticles or who dances ballet until their feet are numbed with bruises. A masochist, Cowart says, could be a fan of tattoos or hot sauces, or an ultra-marathoner who signs up for a race with no finish line. “Do you see a pattern among all of them?” the journalist asks in her book Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose. And a few lines later, she answers: “These people choose pain on purpose.”

Everyone can, in one way or another, be a bit of a masochist and enjoy it. Masochism is a spectrum, and one of its nuances is what researchers call “benign masochism.” A 2023 study published in the Journal of Research in Personality defines it as “seeking enjoyment from commonly unpleasant experiences bodily interpreted as repellent.” These experiences, which are at first glance negative, are quickly followed by a feeling of pleasure.

Karolina Dyduch-Hazar, a researcher at the University of Würzburg in Germany and author of the Journal of Research in Personality study, recalls that she came across the term when she was studying why some people enjoy participating in activities that usually provoke disgust or sadness. “For example, why certain individuals prefer to read books by Dostoyevsky instead of Mark Twain, watch movies like The Shawshank Redemption instead of Legally Blonde, or watch videos of pimples popping instead of reels of cute cats.” In short, understanding why people seek enjoyment, fun, and even satisfaction by participating in unpleasant but harmless activities.

The scientist compares these practices to sexual masochism, which also has nuances, but which ultimately seeks gratification through being humiliated or beaten. “These activities are both painful and harmful,” the author explains. In benign masochism, there is no real harm.

Mariana Castillo, a psychiatrist at HM Hospitales, explains that in benign masochism, “the key factor is that the environment is controlled, and there is no pursuit of extremely intense sensations.” She distinguishes benign masochists from those who seek extreme adrenaline rushes, such as skydivers. “Unlike benign masochists, these individuals don’t require a safe environment. Instead of seeking pain or discomfort, they chase the thrill of a high,” she adds.

The explanation behind the phenomenon

In early 2023, a team of researchers from the University of Cambridge published a paper argued that benign masochism “refers to enjoying initially negative experiences that the body (brain) falsely interprets as threatening. This realization that the body has been fooled, and that there is no real danger, leads to pleasure.”

Dyduch-Hazar elaborates: “One possible explanation for why such people exist is that they enjoy the sudden shift that comes with realizing that the mind has been tricked by the body.”

This change indicates that the threat is not real, even though the body perceives it as such. When watching a horror movie or riding a roller coaster, the heart rate rises, and adrenaline is released. The body reacts to these stimuli in the same way it would if, during a walk in the mountains, it suddenly encountered a bear.

“The enjoyment comes from realizing that the threat is not real,” says Dyduch-Hazar. Castillo adds: “That allows us to let down our guard and surrender to the bodily sensation.”

Previous studies have shown that experiences of pain and pleasure activate similar areas of the brain, which are even hyperconnected. Santiago García Soriano, a psychologist affiliated with the Official College of Psychology of Madrid, explains that “the channels of pleasure and pain are linked in such a way that when the same sensation is experienced, the body can interpret it as pleasurable if it is mild or as painful if it is too strong.” The key difference lies in the intensity of the stimulus and how the brain interprets the situation based on its context.

It is therefore difficult to determine whether benign masochism is a universal tendency in humans, or if it is shaped by an individual’s personal history and cultural context. “It is probably a combination of both,” suggests Dyduch-Hazar. However, research indicates that this phenomenon is more prevalent among certain personality types. The scientist explains: “Benign masochism has been linked to antisocial traits, such as subclinical psychopathy and subclinical sadism.” This refers to individuals who exhibit characteristics associated with these conditions but do not meet the clinical criteria for a formal diagnosis. While benign masochism is neither a psychiatric term nor a pathology, recent studies have associated it with traits such as creativity, curiosity, and unconventional behavior.

“Human beings enjoy and take pleasure in very different and diverse ways,” says García Soriano. This characteristic has always benefited our species. “Being able to control pain, manipulate it, allows us to overcome ourselves and face situations that expand our comfort zone,” adds Castillo. In the end, it is almost a form of resilience.

Research into this phenomenon still has many gaps. Dyduch-Hazar believes that further investigation is needed to uncover the core of these impulses and answer the million-dollar question: why do benign masochists seek out aversive experiences? “Perhaps they do it to better understand themselves or to form connections with others. They might also use it as a way to learn how to cope with challenges in a safe environment,” the expert suggests.

As Leigh Cowart writes in her book: “Our minds and bodies find meaning and relief in pain-a quirk in our programming that drives discipline and innovation even as it threatens to swallow us whole.”

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