The social‑media trend pushing people off dating apps and back into bars

Finding your way with digital maps, making online bank transfers, looking things up on search engines… Our digital habits are recent, yet so ingrained that going back to their analog versions feels unthinkable. Even something as ancient as flirting can now seem inseparable from screens. But a recent trend on social media suggests the story isn’t over.

A few months ago, a video titled Sit at the Bar September went viral. In the clip, an influencer called Laurie Cooper urges people to delete their dating apps and head to bars instead. The TikTok video received more than 415,000 views and made its way into outlets like The New York Times and The Washington Post.

The trend continued as a series: Off the Apps October, Never at Home November, Do Something December, and Just Keep Going January. Cooper — who is a real‑estate agent, devoted New York enthusiast, nightlife recommender, and wellness adviser — describes herself on Instagram as: “I’m an icon, everybody knows who I am.”

In the viral video, she suggests a few bars to visit in New York. Alongside the positive reactions and thank‑yous, viewers in the comments ask for editions featuring spots in Los Angeles, Florida, Philadelphia, Boston, Baltimore, London, Durham… Questions also surfaced on Reddit, where users wondered what to wear, whether to bring a book, how to start a conversation, and whether the idea actually works. The trend, which surprised millennials and Gen Z, puts real‑life flirting skills to the test — skills many people lack or have lost thanks to dating apps.

Jessica Carbino, 39, a sociologist and former head of research at Tinder and Bumble, believes the trend could serve as a socially accepted mechanism for meeting face‑to‑face — something that, unlike in the past, can now feel taboo. “It could be welcomed and even desirable,” she says. To her, the world of dating is riddled with disappointment. “It’s an activity oriented toward a goal: meeting someone. When that goal isn’t reached, people often feel very demoralized.” Unlike organic encounters — those that happen spontaneously — apps allow users to quantify their results, she explains. If someone looks at 50 profiles, matches with 10, chats with 5, goes out with 2, and likes 1, that person gets a real sense of their odds. Someone who doesn’t use this mechanism can’t make that calculation.

Despite — or thanks to — the fact that the success of in‑person flirting can’t be quantified, Cooper argues that the best things happen out in the world, not on apps. “When you’re on your phones, you’re always looking for something new. But you’re missing the best part, which is right in front of your eyes,” she says in another video. Her advice runs counter to the wellness trends circulating on social media, which focus on variations of mindfulness, healthy eating, and self‑care. She doesn’t believe in “guilty pleasures,” only in indulging whenever you want; she insists you shouldn’t tell your friends about arguments with your partner — “because you forgive him, but they don’t”; and she reveals her secret to eternal youth: going out seven days a week.

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