Why tidying up or repotting plants can bring us joy: The psychology behind ‘refuge pleasures’

Simple pleasures — small, seemingly insignificant moments — have a remarkable power to shape our moods and center our lives. There’s no need for a detective’s magnifying glass to trace the pleasure behind the bite of an ounce of chocolate. Equally well-known is the serotonin-fueled reward for acts of achievement: the heroic efforts the body rewards by activating its internal spray of well-being, like the euphoric feeling enjoyed by someone who has just spent an hour at the gym.

Yet, there are other, more mundane, microscopic pleasures — neither virtuous (like exercising) nor vices (like drug use) — that ground us in the chaos of life. These are often domestic tasks, such as organizing a closet or trimming a pet’s nails, that offer a sense of balance and protection. They are so-called “refuge pleasures,” the little things that not everyone enjoys but that some cherish as a sanctuary.

“Our daily routines, whether domestic or not, can be surprisingly effective at disconnecting from stress because they offer a combination of automatism, attention and a feeling of having completed a task,” neuropsychologist Beatriz González tells EL PAÍS. “These activities are usually simple, repetitive and require moderate concentration, which helps focus the mind on the present and away from worries. In short, it is somewhat similar to meditation or mindfulness.”

“My hidden pleasure for releasing serotonin is hanging clothes,” admits journalist Raquel Piñeiro. “I don’t enjoy picking them up or folding them, but hanging them out, flipping them around to dry… Oh, yes.”

Every gift carries its own curse, and the ability to escape mental pressure through something as simple as hanging clothes has its drawbacks. Piñeiro admits her obsession has gone too far at times. “In moments of stress, I’ve even put on unnecessary laundry loads just to enjoy hanging the clothes out to dry afterward,” she confesses. “I’m aware of how absurd it is to find pleasure in something that has to be done eventually, one way or another. On one hand, it feels like the pitiful pleasure of someone who doesn’t know greater joys, and it even embarrasses me a little. It’s so small and domestic, like when people say, ‘My mother’s hobby is cleaning.’ That’s not a hobby; it’s an obligation! On the other hand, I wish I could get the same enjoyment from tasks I hate, like vacuuming, honestly.”

For Lucas Suárez, botany offers him a way to deal with his anxiety. “I transplant plants and check the substrates. I move them from smaller pots to larger ones or from pots that are fine to others that seem more suitable. I’ve got gadgets to measure soil acidity and moisture — or I just use the old reliable method of sticking my finger into the soil,” he explains. He’s unsure of how many plants he has, estimating around 30. This isn’t his only path to find a sense of calm. “I also enjoy cutting vegetables into exactly equal pieces,” he adds. Asked if this compulsion has ever driven him to prepare a specific dish, he replies, “If I need to cut 12 kilos of carrots, I know exactly what I’m going to use them for.”

It’s ironic that activities many people consider chores — burdens associated with unpaid domestic labor — can serve as an anxiolytic balm for others. Psychologist Beatriz González explains: “This contrast reflects how different people manage stress and assign meaning to their daily activities. Just like so many other things, what some love, others can’t stand.”

In the case of Lucas and Raquel, says González, “these same activities can be a refuge because they offer structure and predictability to chaotic day-to-day living. People who feel comfortable doing these tasks usually value them as a space to disconnect or as a way to regain control.”

But can these stress-relieving home rituals lead to addiction? González suggests that while habituation can occur, dependence only happens in rare cases. “If life circumstances change — for example, you have to return to an office job where such activities aren’t possible — a person might feel an initial void or anxiety at losing their usual outlet. That’s why it’s essential to diversify stress management strategies rather than rely on just one,” she warns.

This is precisely what happened to Daniel Ponte, whose refuge pleasure is “basking in the sun when it is very cold and having my feet warmed [by the sun], if possible leaning against a wall with my eyes closed.” When asked if he has a sunny corner at home for such moments, Daniel replies wistfully, “I used to. The interior balcony of my house — until two months ago. My ex-wife kept it. Now it’s the street, and I don’t care if people stare at me.”

Although rare, González has encountered cases where a refuge pleasure has become an obsessive behavior. She recalls a patient whose routines — cleaning with identical movements, waking up at the same time, always getting out of bed with her left foot — evolved into compulsions. “In later sessions, she realized these habits not only relaxed her, but also provided a sense of control amidst the chaos of her work life. However, when she began to realize the underlying causes of her need to disconnect, it became a source of anxiety. We worked together to help her maintain that feeling of control positively, not as a series of self-imposed obligations. It was funny in hindsight — what she thought were just a few quirks turned out to be an array of obsessive-compulsive behaviors. Realizing that these actions were compulsions and what caused them helped her a lot in the medium term to improve her personal well-being.”

To prevent such situations, González recommends diversifying relaxation strategies and setting healthy boundaries. “You have to enjoy these activities, but without letting them become an obligation or a way to constantly escape underlying problems. You have to give them the time and space they deserve,” she says.

When approached reasonably, these mundane rituals can serve as powerful tools to combat the pressures of routine, anxiety, and domestic life. “Many of these activities — hanging clothes, cleaning, or transplanting plants — involve gentle physical movement that helps release built-up tension. They also provide a sense of mastery, which is crucial during stressful times when everything feels out of control. The sight of a tidy or clean space reinforces satisfaction and emotional calm, while the process itself allows temporary relief from worries,” González concludes.

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