One. The new redeemers. Barcelona and Madrid vied with each other in according the US casino magnate Sheldon Adelson the sort of reception normally given to heads of state - thus painting a clear picture of their priorities in education and culture. This noted philanthropist, whose business empire is based in the famed cultural centers of Las Vegas and Macao, appears well disposed to bring the blessings of the high-roller culture that flourishes in those places to the impoverished backwoods of the Iberian peninsula. If the balance finally inclined to Madrid and not Barcelona, it was no doubt due to Adelson's natural empathy with the right-wing Madrid regional government, its praiseworthy determination to resolve the social problems posed by the crisis, and its firm stance against the bank foreclosures that are driving the peasant mob to howl in protest.
Two. Theo-technology. According to a select group of Silicon Valley experts, the prodigious advances in new technologies serve as new theoretical support for the existence of a single God. If you need only push a button and caress a screen of the latest-model iPhone in order to obtain all the information you want in the ambit of the sciences and history, it is possible to imagine a total Supermodel, omniscient, capable of covering in real time the ensemble of lives of trillions and trillions of beings, including their most intimate thoughts and desires. This Supermodel would fully answer the question posed by the skeptics of how the Creator on the Day of the Last Judgment can simultaneously call up the sins of the infinite galaxy of beings who have come into the world since Adam and Eve were driven out of Paradise.
Informed of this proof that supports their formerly disputed doctrine, the religious authorities of the various monotheist creeds have dispatched delegations to the famous valley in California to collect documentation in this area and strengthen their theo-scientific arguments against the mass of unbelievers that swarm in societies where the rusty but tenacious doctrine of moral relativism still prevails.
The lack of liquidity, the economic crisis and the stoppage of its star project have cornered the promoters of El Reino de Don Quixote"
Three. Noticed in the press. "The lack of liquidity, the economic crisis and the stoppage of its star project have cornered the promoters of El Reino de Don Quixote, the vast recreational and apartment complex in La Mancha, for which investments totaling 6.5 billion euros over 15 years had been announced. There are now plans for a creditor's meeting - that is, a bankruptcy.
"The president of the company admitted that the firm was suffering a total lack of liquidity and is in a very complicated situation, adding that he was calling the creditors' meeting not with the intention of abandoning the project, but of revitalizing it and moving it forward."
However, what is not known is the opinion Miguel de Cervantes might have of the project.
Four. Dogma of faith. The identity of the holders of the 33,404 current accounts of the Institute of Religious Works, whose funds amount to 5 billion euros, will not be divulged, as had been demanded by a number of NGOs in the name of financial transparency. Their identities, according to the theologians consulted, constitute a divine mystery, comparable to that of the Redemption, or the Ascension of the Virgin to Heaven.
Five. Rescuing the young from unbelief. A rumor did the rounds that the pièce de résistance of the Church's plan for the "new evangelization of the Word of God," aimed at restoring the faith lost by the troubled youth of Spain (brainwashed and indoctrinated by secular education) was to be the renunciation of the fiscal privileges granted to the Church in virtue of the Concordat, and the payment of taxes on its immense real estate holdings. But this was roundly denied by the spokesman of the Episcopal Conference in these terms: "Spiritual goods are one thing, and material goods another. Let's not confuse roses with sausages!"