‘Trust fund, 6′5″, blue eyes’: The perils of Tinder domination by finance sharks

Megan Boni, known on the internet as Girl On Couch, uploaded a video to TikTok in April that delivered quite the message: “I’m looking for a man in finance. Trust fund, 6′5″, blue eyes.” Alongside the video, Boni added: “Can someone make this into an actual song?” She didn’t have long to wait. Her words wound up becoming the lyrics of a host of remixes (even David Guetta put out a version) confirming that the “finance bro” has become one of the summer’s hottest ISOs.

Even the Microsoft 365 team has been quick to remind the world of the advantages of dating such men. “We just KNOW they’re all proficient in Excel,” they said from the company’s official TikTok account, in the comment section of a video immortalizing a flash mob in which dancers dressed as Wolf of Wall Street aspirants danced to the rhythm of a Girl On Couch remix.

Girl On Couch’s words are now being heralded through the United States as the basis for “the song of the summer” (though such titles are highly subjective and fervently disputed), but she herself has clarified that the remarks were satiric, a parody of how complicated it is finding a partner in the age of dating apps and of the fatigue that has sprung up around such searches. But the allure of powerful-looking men in suits, endowed with a classic brand of masculinity — for all the media furor around “hot rodent men” — certainly appears to have its adherents.

“A man in a good suit is like a man in a good uniform. They’re garments that tend to denote power, status and control over the situation. When a suit is well-made and fits them perfectly, it has been created to sublimate that person, to enhance his best form. An almost biological attraction is generated towards men with a strong and protective look,” says Anitta Ruiz, a public image consultant. She says that, in rebellion against the establishment, recent generations have tried to go against this image of the spotless gentleman, but the current triumph of the finance bros suggests that the tie is still a magnet, that perhaps the aesthetic can overcome the ethical.

Based on its Green Flag Study, Tinder says that today’s idea of what a gentleman is has changed, and that though the women who were surveyed say they appreciate gentlemanly gestures, they’re not their primary focus. As much as men continue thinking about the classic concepts of paying the bill or giving up their seat, women place more value on their undivided attention and spending quality time. “But men seem to still be holding onto older notions of chivalry taught by earlier generations — and this is where we’re getting stuck,” states the dating app’s report, alluding to the same generational clash that Ruiz mentions.

But neither businessmen’s aesthetic nor behavior have been uniformly applauded in times past, as business journalist Miska Salemann writes in the New York Post. “This generation of privileged, overworked bankers doesn’t get the best rep. Though not a homogenous group, many are known for their more pompous qualities; self-righteous smirks, obsessive protein intake, semi-functioning alcoholism, acceptance of sleep deprivation, and frequent boasting of their six-figure salaries. Of course, you can’t ignore one of the worst facets of the ‘finance bro’ aesthetic: their style,” she explains. The runways have never been in lockstep with salesmen’s sartorial, but that could be changing. For Miu Miu’s spring/summer 2024 presentation, singer Troye Silvan took to the catwalk disguised as a finance bro for the times (polo shirt and hair gel, yes, but with a pair of Bermuda shorts.)

Financial stability is the new bouquet

Beyond suits, it’s compelling that, even in an ironic tone, the message that the ideal man is a wealthy businessman has stuck, at a moment in which the struggle for economic independence among women is key, as evidenced in a recent Mastercard study, carried out in Spain. The report says that 74% of the Spanish women who were surveyed see financial independence as their primary goal in life. This, as the hashtag #girlmath is proliferating across social media, a trend with which many content creators are ironically justifying unnecessary purchases and financial laxity. These digital laughs reinforce certain stereotypes about women, including the old clunker of how financial know-how is not among the strengths of the fairer sex. Let’s not forget how when Cher’s mother told her it was time for her to settle down and marry a rich man, she replied, “Mom, I am a rich man.”

“Depending solely on a partner for financial support can be dangerous, especially keeping in mind the high divorce rates in Spain, which are around 57%, according to numbers from the National Statistics Institute. There are many scenarios that illustrate this resulting vulnerability, like when a woman gives up her career to take care of her children. If the relationship dissolves some years later, returning to the world of work with a competitive salary can be daunting,” warns Sam Dogen, who is known in the digital world as Financial Samurai and is a former Goldman Sachs analyst. “A more prudent approach would mean both members of the couple saving and investing towards their respective and shared futures, simultaneously. Maintaining both shared and separate financial accounts gives women more autonomy when it comes to expenses and at the same time, offers protection to both parties in the case of separation.”

It’s undeniable that money matters have finally come out of the closet when it comes to the dating world. Dating app Bumble predicts that “loud budgeting,” which consists of speaking openly about financial status, will be a key trend for single people this year, boding well for the rise of financial common sense. Representatives from the app say that for 95% of Spanish people, speaking about money is no longer seen as taboo. “The resurgence of interest in men working in finance, perhaps, reflects a broader shift towards valuing financial stability amid economic instability. However, while financial stability is important, it should not come at the expense of a healthy work-life balance. For more than one in 10 singles, a demanding job is a dealbreaker when you’re meeting someone, underscoring today’s nuanced approach to dating, in which both financial stability and a balanced lifestyle are highly valued,” says Alba Durán, marketing director at Bumble Spain.

But the woman responsible for highlighting this summer’s interest in finance bros herself has no time for dating. Since her words became the lyrics of a barrage of remixes, Girl On Couch has quit her job, gotten a manager and performed in Las Vegas with David Guetta. Solo success on the Internet has proven more profitable than finding her own Wolf of Wall Street. Her initial joke has become a phenomenon, with nearly seven million monthly remix listeners on Spotify. If she plays her cards right, it could be that, as in the case of Cher, the rich man is her.

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