Is the Satisfyer numbing my clitoris? Pleasure beyond sex toys

The clitoris has a single function: to give pleasure. Satisfyer, with its 2019 boom, put the issue on the table with a masterful advertising strategy. Sex toys went from being something that was not talked about, a taboo discussed in whispers and in discreet meetings with friends, to appearing in Netflix series as standard-bearers of feminine pleasure. Many people who until then had never dared to seek that pleasure for themselves fell for the temptation. Now, the sex toy is part of their lives and they are proud to say that it is essential in their bedroom.

The reason, as whoever tried it knows, is that it is easy to use and almost instantaneous: its intensity guarantees reaching orgasm in a matter of minutes. But more and more voices speak of a certain drawback in the form of dependency. More and more sexual health experts have warned that in the last year, hundreds of users have gone to the doctor worried about not being able to reach orgasm without their suction toy. The question is always the same: “Is Satisfyer making my clitoris numb?”

On social media, renowned porn actresses, sex coaches and content creators have dared to talk about the issue. “I never wanted to do it because sex toys changed my life and I love them, but I received comments every day from women asking me to make videos about this. And when it started happening to me too, I felt like I had to speak up,” says sexual content creator Lola Lolita.

Lolita noticed that she needs to increase the intensity of her suction toy more and more so that it does the same work that it once did at the beginning on its lowest power. What worries her the most, though, is that when it comes to having sexual relations with her partner, she now cannot reach orgasm if she is not also leaning on the Satisfyer. She also depends on the toy when she masturbates: “It’s very frustrating. I can’t cum alone anymore.”

Ángel Guillen, the director of the Psicopartner psychology center and a sexology specialist, explains that the device can cause the loss of sensitivity, because it produces high blood flow that overstimulates the clitoris. “We are finding that Satisfyer can cause habituation in the body, which means that the body gets used to it and no longer produces the same effect,” explains Guillen.

Mónica, Manuela and Diana, who have preferred not to give their last name to preserve their privacy, have frenetic lives that often do not leave them time to explore their bodies and give themselves pleasure. They admit that they almost never manage to reach orgasm in a sexual relationship with a man, but that their Satisfyer, as cold as it is effective, always does the job well.

Discussing among themselves, they have realized that their sex toy is closely linked precisely to their strenuous life rhythms: “It is a quick orgasm that gives you time to go to work, but with the suction toy you don’t really explore your body, nor do you give yourself time. You don’t even imagine your pleasure through your fantasies,” says Diana.

Concerned that her clitoris may lose sensitivity, Manuela has taken matters into her own hands: “If I use it very often, I play with the speeds so that my vulva doesn’t get used to just one type of stimulation,” she says. For Mónica, it is a matter of instant gratification: “The level of pleasure that the vibrator produces can take me to levels that are very difficult to compare with any other type of stimulation, and in the long run that has affected sex with my partner,” she confesses.

Health psychologist Aida López explains that the constant use of a sex toy at its maximum power can cause the clitoris to lose sensitivity. “At the clinic we recommend using the clitoral sucker, but we warn that it should not be the only source of stimulation.”

When a woman seeks medical assistance with this problem, practitioners should first check what is causing her insensitivity and rule out any other external factors. If it is determined that the suction device is producing this effect, the woman is encouraged to reduce the frequency and the power with which she uses it. “You have to dedicate time to pleasure,” says López.

Gynecologist Alejandro Montoya emphasizes that this does not mean that the Satisfyer is good or bad, or that it desensitizes the clitoris. Rather, its stimulation is so high and concentrated that it is very difficult to achieve those levels of pleasure with a partner: “85% of women experience more pleasure in the clitoris with penetration. The key is to know yourself. The only side effect that a Satisfyer has is to give pleasure,” she says.

The vice president of the Sexcuela Association, Beatriz Guerrero, is an expert in psychosocial rehabilitation of people with serious mental disorders and training in sexual education. She says that many of her patients come to her office with these same questions: “Sex toys concentrate a lot of pleasure immediately. That can make our brain get used to the instant reward and become lazy.” That is why sexologists help couples cultivate desire by creating other types of pleasures within sexual encounters, going beyond the quick search for an orgasm.

Isabel Silva Reus, gynecologist and vice president of the Spanish Contraception and Reproductive Health Society, explains that this problem appears often in women who have not had sex with another person for a long time or who started their sexual life with Satisfyer, which has accustomed them to power and immediate stimulation: “It is just a matter of varying the forms of generating that pleasure,” she advises.

Stephany Raymond, sex coach, expert in female sexuality and co-creator of the La Maleta Rosada sex toy brand, agrees, explaining that the clitoris does not become desensitized, but rather the brain becomes lazy. “The recommendation is not to demonize it, but to understand that we always have to vary the source of the stimulus, to switch between the hand and other toys. As a couple it works the same. Pleasure comes in infinite ways. It’s a delight to explore new things,” she says.

For sexuality expert Patricia Rincón, all orgasms are good, even the instant one that serves as a quick way to release stress. Rincón has been giving sexuality and sex toys workshops to women throughout Spain for 13 years, and she has seen how women have finally stopped depending on another person to achieve pleasure. “There are many women who had never had an orgasm and achieved it with the suction toy. We cannot lose this battle for pleasure,” she says.

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