Tori Dunlap: ‘Talking about money is one of the most subversive things you can do’

Tori Dunlap is a financial influencer. The U.S. expert left her job at a security company and created Her First $100K, a movement that now helps thousands of women take control of their finances. While there are other content creators aiming to help women lose their fear of talking about money — such as Melissa Jean-Baptiste, who calls herself “the Beyoncé of finance”— Dunlap, with over two million followers, is undoubtedly one of the most prominent in the space.

Aware of the power of social media, she warns of the dangers of falling into the traps set by some influencers outside the world of finance when they boast about certain purchases. “ Influencers are incentivized to make you feel behind so you keep buying. The problem is not influencers as people, it is the culture of constant consumption that social media amplifies. When spending becomes a performance, it distorts reality.” she tells EL PAÍS. “You see the purchase, not the credit card bill. You see the lifestyle, not the insecurity behind it. Influencer spending can create pressure, comparison, and shame, all of which keep people from focusing on long term financial health.”

In her book Financial Feminist, she debunks the myth that women can’t manage money and provides concrete tools to achieve financial freedom. She draws on her own experience: when she left her job, she set a goal of saving $100,000 by the age of 25. She achieved it, and by 28 she was already a multimillionaire. Her story is remarkable, but improving women’s financial literacy is already a reality within her community.

But what exactly is the financial feminism she champions? “It is the belief that our world becomes more equitable when women and marginalized people have more money. Money is one of the strongest tools we have for creating change,” she argues. “Financial feminism recognizes that you cannot talk about personal finance without talking about the systems that hold people back. It is both personal and political. It is about teaching you how to budget and negotiate, while also working to dismantle policies and power structures that make financial freedom harder for some than for others.”

Question. How can we take the shame and stigma out of conversations about money?

Answer. The fastest way to take the shame out of money is to normalize talking about it. Shame thrives in silence. When we speak openly about our salaries, our struggles, and our goals, we realize we are not alone and that most of what we view as “personal failures” are actually systemic barriers. I also center inclusivity by acknowledging that money is never one size fits all. Your financial life is shaped by your identity, your background, and the systems you interact with. Any money conversation that ignores racism, sexism, ableism, and class privilege is incomplete. My goal is always to meet people where they are and offer tools that build confidence rather than judgment.

Q. What is the connection between financial health and political activism?

A. Every financial choice we make is connected to a policy choice that came before it. You cannot separate money from politics. The gender wage gap, minimum wage, the lack of paid family leave in the U.S. federally, the childcare crisis, and the cost of healthcare are all political issues that directly impact your bank account. When we advocate for policy change, we are advocating for financial freedom not just for ourselves, but for entire communities. Political activism is financial activism. When more marginalized people have economic security, they have more power to push for systemic change, and that benefits everyone.

Q. Financial independence is crucial for women stuck in abusive marriages because they lack the economic resources to leave.

A. Financial abuse occurs in the vast majority of domestic violence situations. Abusive partners know that if they control your ability to earn or access money, they control your ability to leave. This is why building even a small emergency fund can literally be life changing. Financial independence is not about being wealthy overnight. It is about building options, safety, and autonomy. Start with the basics: an emergency fund, clarity on your spending, and eventually investing. You deserve a life where your decisions are made out of desire, not desperation.

Q. What would you say are the most common mistakes women make when it comes to saving and spending money?

A. The most common mistake is believing we are bad with money rather than recognizing we have been underpaid, undervalued, and marketed to in ways that shame and confuse us. Another mistake is waiting for the “perfect moment” to start saving or investing. You do not need a six-figure salary or a fully mapped out plan to begin. Women also often prioritize others before themselves, which shows up financially. We take care of everyone else, then hope there is something left over. I always want women to flip that script and pay themselves first.

Q. How can women feel financially confident in a world run, as you say, by “rich white men”?

A. You build confidence the same way you build any skill. You start small, you take action, and you surround yourself with education and community. But you also acknowledge the reality. Women are not financially insecure because we lack discipline. We are financially insecure because systems were built without us in mind. Once women recognize that they are not the problem, they feel more empowered to challenge the system, advocate for themselves, and take control of their money. Confidence grows when you see yourself as capable and deserving, even in a world that benefits from you believing the opposite.

Q. Why should women talk about money more?

A. Women have been taught from childhood that talking about money is impolite, unfeminine, or greedy. Men are encouraged to see money as a sign of power, while women are encouraged to see it as a source of shame. When we stay quiet, we cannot advocate for ourselves. Talking about money helps us identify discrimination, negotiate better, protect ourselves, and support one another. Conversation is the key to both empowerment and transparency.

Q. It’s very common to hear that men invest and women spend. What do you think of this idea?

A. This stereotype is rooted in sexism, not truth. Men invest at higher rates because they have historically had more access to money, education, and confidence in financial systems. When women do invest, they often outperform men. The investing gap is one of the biggest contributors to the wealth gap. If women are not investing, they miss out on decades of compound interest, and that loss impacts everything from retirement to generational wealth. Closing the investing gap is one of the most powerful tools we have for economic equality.

Q. How does patriarchy profit by making women believe that talking about money is taboo?

A. Silence keeps people underpaid, overworked, and financially insecure. When we do not talk about salaries, companies save money. When we do not talk about debt or credit, lenders profit from confusion. When women believe they are bad with money, the financial industry can sell them high-fee products or exclude them entirely. Patriarchy benefits when women remain small, compliant, and financially dependent. Talking about money is one of the most subversive things you can do.

Q. You offer your employees menstrual leave.

A. Menstrual leave is one of the ways our company walks the walk of financial feminism. People should not have to push through pain or pretend their bodies do not impact their work. Offering menstrual leave acknowledges reality without shame. It helps employees feel supported, reduces burnout, and models a more humane approach to work. Rest is not a weakness. It is a foundation of productivity and wellbeing.

Q. Why do women tend to give up the pursuit of wealth?

A. Women are told that wanting wealth is selfish, while men are told it is ambitious. We are encouraged to be caregivers, not wealth builders. We are taught to budget, but men are taught to invest. And many women do not see themselves represented in financial spaces, which can make wealth feel inaccessible or even undesirable. But wealth is not about yachts or private jets. Wealth is about freedom, choices, and safety. Women deserve that just as much as anyone else.

Q. Why is the ability to terminate a pregnancy a financial issue?

A. Reproductive freedom is economic freedom. The ability to decide if, when, and how to have children shapes a person’s entire financial future. Pregnancy, birth, childcare, and time away from work are incredibly expensive. Losing the right to terminate a pregnancy most impacts people with the least financial power. Restricting reproductive rights is a direct attack on economic mobility, safety, and autonomy. You cannot have financial equality without bodily autonomy.

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