Britney Spears, broken over estrangement from her children: ‘I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy’

Britney Spears is back in the spotlight. Although 10 months have passed since she put more than 14 years of her father Jamie Spears’ conservatorship behind her, her private life continues to make headlines.

Last weekend, the subject was once again her relationship with her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, and their two children, whom she has not seen in six months. Via her Instagram account, she posted a story expressing her pain at being “abandoned” by her two sons, Sean Preston, 16, and Jayden James, 15: “Since they’ve been gone, I’ve honestly felt like a huge part of me has died. Like, literally, I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy. They were my everything. I looked forward to seeing them. That was what I lived for. And then all of a sudden, they were gone. And I was like, “Did my heart just stop beating?’”

The Toxic singer added that she doesn’t understand “how it’s so easy for them just to cut me off like that.”

Earlier this month, the two boys gave a controversial interview to the British ITV channel, in which Jayden James said that his mother had not paid the same attention to them as to other areas of her life: “I think mom has had trouble paying attention to us and showing us the same love and I don’t think she’s shown Preston enough and I feel really bad about that.” Jayden James made it clear that the estrangement would end when Spears showed that she was better: “I just want her to get better mentally,” he said in the 60-minute interview. “When she gets better, I really want to see her again,” adding that there is “no hate” towards his mother, but that “it will take a lot of time and effort” to repair their relationship. “I 100% think this can be fixed,” he said.

The boys’ remarks understandably had a profound impact on Spears, prompting her story on Instagram, an account on which she has more than 42 million followers. Between one post and another, she has also claimed that Jayden James is upset with her because, in a couple of years, the money will dry up. “Do you guys want me to get better, so I can continue paying your dad 40 grand a month, or is the reasoning behind you guys deciding to be hateful is because it’s actually over in two years and you don’t get anything?” she asked.

Spears has expressed her suspicions that her children were only after her money on other occasions, claiming they would always bow out of their visits a couple of hours early and when they were actually with her: “Preston would fall asleep and you would play the piano all the time. And if I didn’t shower you guys with gifts, and have amazing food ready and play a motherfucking saint, it was still never good enough.”

Spears’ relationship with Federline is also tense. The singer lost custody of her boys before being put under her father’s conservatorship in 2008, and, during it, could only see the children during supervised visits after drug tests. The couple would later go on to share 50/50 custody of the boys, an arrangement that would change again in Federline’s favor in 2019, when he was reportedly awarded 70% custody. After regaining their freedom in November 2021, the teenagers have preferred to continue living with their father rather than spend more time with Spears, even failing to attend her wedding to Iranian model, Sam Asghari in June.

However, the singer has pointed out that she used to have her children much more than her ex-partner: “People don’t remember that part because they always focus on the negative, but when they were six to nine years old, I had them 70% of the time.”

Early September, Spears, who was raised in a religious family, also confessed to losing her faith. “Honestly, my dad needs to be in jail for the rest of his life,” she posted. “But like I said, God would not have allowed that to happen to me if a god existed. I don’t believe in God anymore because of the way my children and my family have treated me. There is nothing to believe anymore.”

Meanwhile, the artist is trying to get her music career back on track. Thanks to her collaboration with Elton John, Spears has returned to the Billboard Top 10 for the first time in 10 years with the song Hold Me Closer.