Reflections on the Netflix series ‘Adolescence’: How to steer boys away from the manosphere

The four episodes of Adolescence, the hit Netflix miniseries directed by Philip Barantini, have stirred society as a whole — especially parents. Its perspective, centered on Jamie Miller — a 13-year-old boy accused of murdering a classmate — and his family, has not been well received by everyone and has drawn significant criticism for sidelining the victim’s story. However, that narrative choice has a powerful effect: it forces parents to confront an uncomfortable truth — that their own sons could very well be Jamie Miller.

“I continue to be surprised that so many families are afraid of their daughters getting into relationships with sexist boys, yet aren’t equally concerned that their sons might become sexist aggressors,” says Daniel Leal González, psychologist and coordinator of the Municipal Men for Equality Program at the Equality and Diversity Department of the Jerez de la Frontera City Council in Spain.

In addition to the awareness sparked by the perspective of the series, Adolescence strikes a deeper nerve with parents in several ways — but two in particular stand out. First is the shocking and disturbing discovery, for many, of the so-called “manosphere”: a network of websites, blogs, and forums led by a range of male subgroups (incels, pick-up artists, men’s rights activists, trolls...) that share a common purpose — relentlessly spreading extremist misogynistic content. This material is being consumed by men of all ages, but especially by preteens and teenagers, who are absorbing toxic and hateful messages.

“This has been a growing and really worrying form of extremism for a while now that no one has been talking about,” Laura Bates, author of Men Who Hate Women, explains to EL PAÍS. “Because we struggle to recognize white men as extremists, and we also struggle to see misogyny as extremist because it is so normalized in our societies, these blind spots have allowed this particular form of radicalization to flourish, trapping many young people,” she says.

Bates blames social media for the rise of this trend: “The most powerful reason these accounts are so successful among teenagers is because they are being directly promoted to billions of people by social media algorithms, which profit financially from their extremism.”

Leal, for his part, believes that these accounts are successful because they answer common questions many teenage boys ask themselves: What does it mean to be a man? How can I be popular? How do I have to behave to be attractive and attract people? How can I be successful in life?

“We have left the answers to these questions in the hands of misogynistic men who go so far as to deny sexist violence and use feminism and feminist women as a scapegoat for all their failures,” says Leal.

According to the Spanish NGO Ayuda en Acción (Help in Action), these harmful narratives may have an even greater impact on children and adolescents growing up in more vulnerable socioeconomic and cultural environments.

“These children often lack family protection, educational support at home, parental controls, positive family role models […] so they run a greater risk of being more susceptible to internalizing these narratives, as part of what is known as sociodigital inequalities,” explains Elena Rúa, the NGO’s representative in the Spanish region of Asturias.

Rúa, who specializes in global citizenship education, also highlights how these forums and accounts offer a false sense of community and validation — especially alluring for youths without sufficient social or family support.

The second element in Adolescence that deeply unsettles parents is the heartbreaking final scene (spoiler alert), in which Jamie Miller’s parents break down emotionally while talking in the bedroom. “Could we have done more?” they ask themselves, as the father admits he may have been too complacent while their son spent every afternoon locked in his room, glued to his phone and computer.

“But he was in his room, weren’t he? We thought he was safe, didn’t we? Didn’t we think he was safe? You know, what harm can he do in there?” he says to his wife.

“Online hate thrives primarily in a communication vacuum,” says Bates, who believes the most important tool parents have to fight the manosphere is communication. “Don’t wait until your child is 16 and has already seen all this content online. Start talking to your children as young as three or four about gender stereotypes, equality, and bodily autonomy.”

Bates urges parents to discuss sexist tropes in ads, movies, or storybooks with their children — “to give them permission to question them rather than internalize them.” She also recommends talking openly about the internet, encouraging healthy skepticism toward online sources, asking questions, and creating a safe space where children feel comfortable talking about what they see online.

“The sooner and more often we practice this communication, the more we will strengthen those paths of dialogue that will allow them to talk to you later about what they are seeing,” says Bates. “This gives us vital opportunities to interrupt harmful narratives.”

“We can’t be left with Jamie’s parents’ doubt — that maybe we could’ve done more. Let’s do everything in our power to protect them,” adds sociologist Leal. He emphasizes the importance of the father figure as a role model: “There’s no better model of an egalitarian man for a boy than his dad.”

Bates agrees, noting that, “As long as boys see non-misogynistic behavior modeled by men they trust and admire, there’s hope for the future.”

Without communication, without strong role models, and with algorithms amplifying harmful content, she warns, all the progress made toward gender equality and healthier, less toxic masculinity could unravel in an instant.

“From Spain to the U.K., and in many other countries, surveys repeatedly show that young people are increasingly polarized, with boys adopting increasingly conservative and misogynistic stances,” Bates continues. “While there has always been some backlash against social progress, this has never happened before and is a clear sign of algorithm-driven radicalization.”

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