Tori Spelling informs Dean McDermott of divorce on podcast after 18 years of marriage, claiming she saw ‘red flags’ four months in

Tori Spelling has made headlines again. The 50-year-old actress, daughter of millionaire television producer Aaron Spelling (who died in 2006 and left her $800,000), separated last July from her husband, Canadian actor Dean McDermott. But she did not make public that the two were divorcing until now.

In fact, Spelling was the one to make the announcement, informing McDermott that she was filing for a divorce in a phone call that she broadcast in full in the first episode of her podcast Misspelling. And she didn’t stop there. In the podcast, the actress also revealed intimate details of their 18-year marriage, which based on her comments, she was far from happy with.

The first episode last just 40 minutes, but it’s long enough for the actress to discuss many private moments of their life together. In the episode, the actress calls McDermott, who is at work, and leaves him a message asking him to call her back. Later, Spelling is heard saying: “They’ve done it. It’s the formality. It’s just the one sheet you check off, and next you’ll have to sign it. You have a lawyer.” She is then heard arguing with McDermott (“Wait, it’s gonna be spun what way? That I’ve had enough of you? What? What do you mean?”), and also accuses him of leaking their marital troubles to the press: “You basically put it all out there with Daily Mail, like you said, everything that you’ve done to me over the years.”

Spelling — who before the call says she is “super nervous because I don’t like confrontation” — does not reveal how McDermott replied in the podcast.

After the call, the actress breaks down. “Oh my god, never felt more alone in a room full of friends to a podcast. Fuck, I’ve never felt more alone in 50 years,” she says tearfully. “I don’t feel worth loving. That’s the truth. And that’s something that’s just in you, it’s not something I wanted or created. That starts when you’re young.”

The podcast aired on Sunday, March 31, two days after it was leaked to the press that the couple were getting a divorce. In the episode, Spelling rubs more salt in the wound, saying she would have filed for divorce “like... 15 years ago,” and that their romance only lasted four months. “I think he would say the same thing if he and I had a real heart to heart. … It would’ve been over a lot sooner.”

According to the Los Angeles actress, the couple had “a fast and furious romance.” In fact, both broke up their respective marriages to be together. At the time, Spelling was married to screenwriter Charlie Shanian. The two got married in a huge wedding at the family mansion in July 2004, and in less than a year she filed for divorce. McDermott had been married to singer and actress Mary Jo Eustace for more than 12 years, and had a son, Jack. But when Spelling and McDermott met during a shoot, sparks flew, and the two left their partners to be together.

On Christmas Eve in 2005 McDermott proposed to Spelling and in May 2006, they married in Fiji. They had five children in close succession: Liam in March 2007, Stella in June of the following year, Hattie in October 2011, Finn in August 2012 and, Beau Dean, in March 2017. But in the first years of their marriage, there were already stories about their relationship problems, and McDermott admitted to having been unfaithful. They went to therapy, but never managed to completely overcome it.

“We had this very quick, passionate falling in love period,” Spelling recalls in the episode of Misspelling. “I just remember I could show him me. It wasn’t like, the cute like, giggly, ‘this is what people want me to be.’ I could have a foul mouth. I’m not just Donna Martin, the perfect good girl,” she says, in reference to the character she played in the 1990s hit TV show Beverly Hills, 90210. “I could have some bad girl in me and it was okay. And he liked all those sides and he liked how smart I was and accepted me.”

But she also claims that everyone had warned about “red flags” that she was not capable of seeing, such as his “anger issues,” partly fueled by alcohol. McDermott has admitted to this — a few months ago he said that he couldn’t sleep if he didn’t drink tequila every night — but claimed he has overcome his drinking problem.

“There were definitely red flags and he had anger issues, and that started when we were dating four months in,” she says.

Spelling adds that she warned him from the start that being in a relationship with someone in the media spotlight would be challenging, but that he thought it would be temporary. “But with me, it never went. From the moment I was born, I was in the press. There hasn’t been a reprieve from it,” says Spelling, who has openly confessed to being addicted to fame. Indeed, she turned her family into fodder for reality TV shows, which they have lived with for years.

For Spelling, her relationship with McDermott “was never the same” after they had children. “We always said, ‘We won’t be those parents that change. We’ll make sure we make our relationship a priority, the two of us. We have date nights.’ And everything went out the window. I became completely focused on the kids and kind of left him, in a way,” she says.

The actress claims that she felt that all the responsibility of raising the children fell on her, and that McDermott was just “an extra pair of hands” but not a real emotional support. “And it was a lot of responsibility while also rebuilding a career — which I did. We became a family brand. I went from Hollywood rich girl... to like, cool mom. ‘Look at her. She does it all.’ Meanwhile, behind the scenes, it was all falling apart.”

Spelling has filed for divorce due to “irreconcilable differences” (as cited in the podcast) and also wants shared custody of the five children, all of whom are still minors. The custody arrangement will be decided later. In November, he said he had not seen his children since June, after they separated. What’s more, during the summer Spelling — who as a child lived in the largest mansion in Hollywood, with more than 100 rooms, and whose mother has a fortune of more than $600 million — lived with her children in a RV for several weeks when her house filled with mold and they had nowhere to go.

Sign up for our weekly newsletter to get more English-language news coverage from EL PAÍS USA Edition