How to avoid buying things you’ll regret when you have your first kid

It’s always the same story. A couple discovers they are expecting a baby and immediately begin to prepare, collecting information, the more the better. “This process of over-informing, or infoxication, is one of the factors that leads us to make mistakes, because we lose our analytic capacities,” says Belén Marinone (Buenos Aires, 38 years old). She’s a baby planner, which is to say, an expert in preparation for future parents, and the founder of Babyplanner Academy, which now has a presence in nine countries. “First-time parents have so many doubts, and at the same time want to do their best, and they are exposed to constant stimulus when it comes to solutions, but don’t have the capacity to evaluate and analyze which one will work for them. They end up having to trust external opinions and recommendations,” says the author of the book Nace una mamá. 12 claves para planificar la llegada de tu bebé: La guía práctica para el embarazo (A mother is born. 12 steps for planning your baby’s arrival: A practical guide to pregnancy) (Goodreads, 2022). The expert, who has a decade of experience in the field, says that in the majority of cases these suggestions are biased, based on the opinion of a family member or coming from a source that has some economic interest in your choice, such as an advertiser or a salesperson.

Normal and understandable inexperience on the part of first-time parents, according to Marinone, leads siblings or friends who have been parents to offer their opinion. “But advice from people who are close to the expecting parent isn’t always well-received, because it can be seen as intrusive,” she says, wise words coming from a breastfeeding expert who also has a postgraduate degree from the department of health sciences at Blanquerna University in Barcelona. “However, when a professional tells us how to proceed, we seem to be more willing to listen.”

Being realistic is fundamental when it comes to one’s ability to give and receive advice. “The mother-to-be must have objective information from a diversity of sources to allow her to make her own decisions when it comes to the products that she will need, in addition to parenting methods, routines, development, sleep, breastfeeding, etc.” In addition, it’s important to take the characteristics of one’s space into account, in addition to personal tastes and interests; the durability of products, plus who will use products and on what kind of schedule. “Customization is key in my eyes, because a person with a 196-square-foot apartment is not going to have the same needs as a person living in a 1,000-square-foot house,” she says. Another example: “There are women who can’t take time off from certain aspects of their job, and work from home. Those mothers would probably benefit from the option of a baby carrying scarf, because during the first months, it will allow them to keep their baby close and still have their hands free to do what they need to do.”

Marinone also mentions that there is a plethora of typical purchases that first-time parents can end up regretting. “A baby bathtub that takes up the entire bathroom; a cradle you’ll barely, if ever, use; a bottle sterilizer when they’ll be breastfeeding for more than six months,” she lists. In her eyes, it’s best to make a list that can establish and analyze needs and requirements, and that can be adapted to the specific needs of each mother and father. But there are certain products that, in her professional experience, first-timers failing to take into account their personal circumstances and preferred parenting methods tend to regret.

1. Baby health monitoring devices, such as those that warn of changes in cardiac pulse, body temperature, blood oxygen levels. “These can have the opposite effect of creating stressful hyper-awareness in parents.”
2. It’s not necessary to have five thermometers in the house, a single reliable one will do the trick. “So, there’s no need for the bathtub to have a thermometer, for the baby monitor to have a thermometer and so on. Those product extras can make them very expensive due to a ‘solution’ that is really not needed.”
3. An enclosed playground when there’s no specific need: “It is much more beneficial to block off a safe area on the floor that allows the child to move freely, for their neural and motor development.”
4. Electric swing: “It’s a product that won’t help much on a day-to-day basis. In terms of the baby’s development, the best spot for them is on the ground, or even a basic swing would be better.”
5. Combination changing table and bathtub: unless conditions require its use, it will always be more practical and easier to bathe a baby in your home’s bathroom and change their diaper in the same room as their clothes and other supplies.

“Each family is different and, of course, there are many kinds of financial situations. But for the vast majority, I usually advise them, in order to avoid waste and have all bases covered, to look for options that can be used in a variety of ways,” Marinone says. “Like, for example, a stroller with a soft carrycot that is also a lightweight car seat (so you save on having to buy both), or avoiding child restraint systems for the car that are designed only for newborns, and instead buying a system that will work from their birth until they are about four years old.”

The emotional factor of a baby’s arrival

Marinone recognizes that the kinds of concerns experienced by parents-to-be shift as pregnancy progresses. “During the first months, there are mostly doubts about where to start or what they’ll need for the baby, questions related to material things.” As gestation advances, the expert says that recurring concerns about breastfeeding, complementary feeding and sleep become common, calling them, “necessary questions about fulfilling the role of mother.” By the end of the pregnancy, questions tend to focus on the delivery process and necessary care during the child’s first days.

The expert finds it worth mentioning that, in her experience and according to several studies, what new parents do not usually ask is about the postpartum period, and the emotional changes that becoming a mother can imply: “And that is important, because it’s fundamental to any process of motherhood and fatherhood.”

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