Douglas Emhoff, the possible first gentleman of the White House

Douglas Emhoff was in a coffee shop chatting with friends in California on Sunday, July 21, the day when President Joe Biden announced he was dropping out of the race and dramatically changed the U.S. election campaign. He was relaxed, he had left his cell phone in the car. Someone at the table alerted him to the news: “You got to watch this.” He ran out to his car. “Of course, my phone was on fire, and everyone was like, ‘Call Kamala,’ ‘Call Kamala,’ ‘Call Kamala,’” he later recounted. When Emhoff finally reached his wife, Vice President Kamala Harris, “of course, the first thing she said was ‘where have you been? I need you!’”

America’s second gentleman — the official title of Harris’ husband — may be about to become the first gentleman in U.S. history if his wife wins the Nov. 5 election and becomes the country’s first Black and South Asian woman to be elected president. Harris — who is already the official Democratic candidate for the White House — will officially accept the nomination next Thursday at the Democratic Convention in Chicago. For the couple, the day is doubly significant: not only does it mark Harris’ political coronation, it is also their 10th wedding anniversary.

As second gentleman, Emhoff is used to playing a supporting role. Indeed, he is the first man to hold this position: until Harris’ appointment, no woman had ever been vice president of the United States. Over the past four years, the 59-year-old lawyer — a show business specialist with a smiley disposition — has discreetly tried to put his own stamp on a position that comes with no script, but is highly visible.

He has acted as a disciplined representative of his wife and the Biden administration, taking the Democrats’ message for reproductive rights to 42 states across the country. He also represented the United States on missions to 15 foreign countries, according to a White House count. And he is a devoted husband, the vice president’s biggest fan, always stepping aside to let her shine. Emhoff has been unwaveringly enthusiastic about Harris, even when she was most overlooked: “I’m her partner, I’m her best friend and I’m her husband. And that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to have her back.”

A dragon tattoo

On Instagram, his bio reads “Doug Emhoff, proud husband of Kamala Harris,” and is filled with photos of his wife’s rallies. According to People magazine, one of his three tattoos is of a dragon and is in tribute to Harris (the other two are in honor of his two children). The couple were born in the same year and are both dragons in the Chinese zodiac. After she replaced Biden as the Democratic candidate for president, he immediately declared that it was an honor to have his wife head the nomination. “I cannot tell you how proud I am of her,” he told former federal prosecutor Preet Bharara on a podcast. “Kamala Harris has united the [Democratic] Party. She’s going to unite the country. She’s going to earn this nomination.”

It is traditional in the United States for the partners of presidents and vice presidents to use their office to defend a non-political social cause. Michelle Obama chose child nutrition; while Laura Bush promoted reading. Emhoff has embraced two: fighting against toxic masculinity and for gender equality; and secondly, as the highest-ranking Jew in the White House, the battle against antisemitism.

“Now that I’m in the role, and you really see not all men naturally would do this, and would push back, and there’s this, this, toxicity, this, this, this masculine idea of what a man is that’s out there that’s not correct… it’s something I just want to push back on,” he said. “Masculinity is loving your family, caring about your family, and being there for your family.”

Harris is Emhoff’s second wife. He divorced his first wife, Kerstin, in 2008. The two had been married for 17 years and had two grown children, Ella and Cole. This month, it was revealed that their separation was partly due to Emhoff’s infidelity. He admitted to it immediately: “During my first marriage, Kerstin and I went through some tough times on account of my actions,” he said in a statement. “I took responsibility, and in the years since, we worked through things as a family and have come out stronger on the other side.”

His ex-wife has also come to his defense, stating that the breakup of the marriage was due to “a variety of reasons.” “He is a great father to our kids, continues to be a great friend to me and I am really proud of the warm and supportive blended family Doug, Kamala, and I have built together,” she added.

Emhoff, who practiced law in California, and Harris, who was the state’s attorney general, met in 2013 on a blind date, at the urging of a mutual friend. “It was love at first sight,” he said. They married a year later, in a simple civil ceremony. He claims that one of the things that made him fall in love was Harris was her distinctive laugh, which Republican candidate, Donald Trump, has attacked, claiming it shows she isn’t serious.

When Harris won her U.S. Senate seat in the 2016 elections, Emhoff followed her to Washington. Since then, he has been combining his duties as second gentleman with teaching at Georgetown University Law School.

Now the couple is entering a new stage. In three months, they may become the new tenants of the White House. Or they may be packing their bags to return to California. In the meantime, both are focused on the election campaign. Emhoff, according to Harris campaign spokesperson Seth Schuster, “will be a vigorous and active campaigner, speaking directly to our coalition about the issues they care most about and mobilizing the voters who will decide this election to ensure that Vice President Harris becomes President Harris.”

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