How Andrew Garfield became the internet’s boyfriend

Every so often, social media hails a celebrity who goes viral after an interview or a role that resonates with the zeitgeist and wins over viewers. This is how the so-called “internet’s boyfriend,” a title that has been held by figures like Timothée Chalamet and Benedict Cumberbatch — two prime examples of how this fleeting digital fame often has little to do with traditional notions of beauty.

“When real men disappoint us — in their politics, their bullshit, their basic human inconsistencies — the internet’s boyfriend is a paragon of enlightened masculinity, constructed by committee,” Sulagna Misra explained in a 2016 article for The Cut. “Usually it’s a man with enough mystery to keep these projections of desire from puncturing, but enough charm that his popularity was merely a matter of timing. Usually it’s a man in his early or mid-30s, old enough that a teenager will find him refreshingly mature and a grown-up can lust after him with impunity.”

Typically, the “internet’s boyfriend” goes to an actor who was not previously on the mainstream radar, but Andrew Garfield has become an exception, winning this title despite already being famous for his role in the Spider-Man franchise. How has he done it? The actor has won over the internet thanks to firstly a highly anticipated televised appearance on Chicken Shop Date with Amelia Dimzoldenberg — an interview that’s impossible to watch without sighing (and feeling a bit envious). And secondly, his viral scene with the muppet Elmo, where Garfield openly discusses the grief he’s been processing following the death of his mother in 2019 from pancreatic cancer. The bad boy era is over — today, it’s men who aren’t afraid to show their emotions and proudly identify as feminists who are capturing hearts.

“I consider myself feminine. And of course I consider myself feminist,” Garfield told Cosmopolitan.

The hottest date in the history of the internet

Amelia Dimoldenberg has risen to fame thanks to her quirky dating show Chicken Shop Date, where she flirts with celebrities while dining at various fried chicken restaurants. The show has generated its share of buzz, with one of the most talked-about episodes being her date with Billie Eilish. The singer displayed her expert flirting skills, and the undeniable chemistry between the two left many fans wishing the digital date had gone further.

However, the most anticipated episode was undoubtedly her date with Andrew Garfield. Their first encounter on the red carpet of the British GQ Men of the Year awards in 2022 was captured by cameras, and the palpable chemistry between them quickly became a topic of conversation. The following year, at the Golden Globes, Dimoldenberg, who was reporting for the event, reconnected with Garfield. During their interview, he confessed that he couldn’t attend her show because he was afraid of what might happen between them. A year later, his fears came true when they finally went on their much-awaited date.

The 11-minute interview quickly became dubbed the “romcom of the year” by the internet. “It’s been vibey to the point where you’ve been avoiding me for two years because the vibes were too much for you to handle,” Dimoldenberg teased.

“If this wasn’t here,” said Garfield, gesticulating at the cameras, “do you think we’d actually go on a date?”

What followed was a conversation that felt like a spontaneous, unscripted love story. In a world where interactions are often curated and shaped for the public eye, their exchange was a rare moment of intimacy, authenticity, and undeniable chemistry.

Public grief

People experiencing grief often avoid talking about it in order not to make others uncomfortable. Celebrities, in particular, tend to speak about the loss of a loved one only after they have fully processed their emotions. But, Andrew Garfield has defied this norm by speaking openly about his grief while still in the midst of it. In a deeply emotional conversation on Sesame Street with the beloved character Elmo, Garfield shared his feelings following the death of his mother.

This sentiment is echoed by Rafael Narbona, author of Masters of Happiness, who lost his father at the age of eight. “It is important to talk about death because it remains such a taboo subject,” he explained. “Something disturbing has happened: until recently, people believed in gods or the afterlife, but when those beliefs were dismantled, a feeling of emptiness and grief was created.”

Andrew Garfield’s conversation with Elmo about grief has struck a chord with many, as he explains how the feeling of loss has actually brought him closer to his late mother.

“You have to accept that in grief, the feeling of separation and loss are inevitable, but acceptance comes little by little, and I think it’s a good idea to keep loved ones alive in memory,” Rafael Narbona, author of Masters of Happiness, told EL PAÍS. Narbona, who lost his father at a young age, emphasizes that while sadness is uncomfortable, it’s often more distressing for those who witness it than for those experiencing it. “People say that grief is something you have to overcome, but if public figures like Garfield show that it is natural, perception begins to change.”

In just a few minutes of honest conversation, Garfield became a powerful ally for those grappling with loss, offering a public example of unfiltered vulnerability. His willingness to express his grief without filters has garnered admiration, especially in a society tired of scripted displays of emotion to garner likes. What does it say about this world that a man’s emotional availability — whether on a “date” with a woman or in a candid conversation about pain — has captured the public’s attention so profoundly? It speaks to the desire to find men who are comfortable showing their vulnerability.

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