Meryl Streep, the fascination of a star both glittering and discreet

Just 12 hours after accepting the Princess of Asturias Award for the Arts, it emerged that the actress and her husband of four decades, Don Gummer, had been separated for more than six years. This surprising news adds to the myth of privacy that the award-winning actress has always maintained

Meryl Streep, upon arrival at the Princess of Asturias Awards, on October 20, 2023 in Oviedo.Samuel de Roman (Getty Images)

In the most anticipated speech of the evening — with all due respect to Spain’s King Felipe VI —, Meryl Streep’s address at the Princess of Asturias Awards on Friday, the actress said some things that certainly made a lot of sense. The three-time Oscar winner and 21-time nominee said that she had played so many “extraordinary people” during her life that she was occasionally taken for some of them. Beyond a certain confession of imposter syndrome, the actress also implied a simple truth. Streep — born in a small town in New Jersey — has played the likes of a farm owner in Africa, a fashion magazine and newspaper editor, a young separated mother, a chatty cook, a long-suffering housewife, a Holocaust survivor, a frustrated singer, a witch, a nun, a hotel owner in Greece and even a British prime minister. But on many occasions, she is often mistaken for these people, about whom so much literature has been written, who we have seen so many times in her performances. Since Streep is as private as her characters are public, little is known about her. So much so that no one knew she had been separated for more than six years from her husband of four decades, the sculptor Don Gummer, father of her four children.

The news reached the press just 12 hours after the applauded and excited Streep collected her award in Oviedo, after three days of accolades and plaudits. When she unexpectedly showed up in the city on Tuesday — her arrival was scheduled for Wednesday, when she was formally welcomed to the sound of bagpipes — she also surprised everyone by appearing with her brother Harry instead of her husband or one of her four children. It was shortly after the awards ceremony, in a respectful piece of timing that allowed her award to not be tarnished by any such news. The New York media outlet Page Six confirmed that the 74-year-old star and Gummer, 76, with whom she would be celebrating 45 years of marriage this September, spanning as long as her career, had been separated for six years “and while they will always care for each other, they have chosen lives apart,” a spokesperson confirmed.

The couple’s last public appearance was at the 2018 Oscars. At the time she had just bought a house in Pasadena, next to Los Angeles, and soon after would put her New York penthouse up for sale. She sought $25 million and ended up selling the property for $16 million. Other than that, there was no word, no speculation. Streep has been in the media in recent years, as have her children. Henry, the eldest, is a musician; Mamie, Grace and Louisa, are all actresses. Over the years they have married, had children, taken on new roles. But there has not been a single piece of news, not even a rumor, about Meryl and Don’s separation.

Indeed, this privacy is what contributes to enhancing Streep’s mystique even more. This simplicity — for some feigned, for most fully authentic; she is such a wonderful actress that no one will ever know — has made her the top prize (especially for the organization and the city) at the Princess of Asturias Awards. The city rolled out the red carpet for the actress who is not usually spotted on a daily basis, nor snapped by the paparazzi, let alone in a city such as Oviedo. She amply repaid all she has received, further enhancing her reputation. She mingled with young people, posed for photos with children, shed tears during her encounters, and grabbed the headlines — “Nobody does anything in Hollywood if they can’t make a lot of money” — and she even ate in Casa Fermín (a famous restaurant in Oviedo). She did not turn down one photo opportunity, a smile, a signature. She even delighted the Spanish Royal Family. The images of Princess Leonor gazing at her ecstatically or the endearing comment made by Queen Letizia in a circle with journalists (“she is so kind...”) are the latest illustrations of Streep’s modest grandeur.

Queen Letizia and Leonor, Princess of Asturias, receive in audience the recipient of the Princess of Asturias Award for the Arts, U.S. actress Meryl Streep, at the Hotel de la Reconquista in Oviedo, October 20, 2023.ANDRÉS BALLESTEROS (EFE)

The actress’s private life was somewhat public initially and so distressing that she later developed a suit of armor to protect it. Her first serious relationship was in the mid-1970s, with actor John Cazale, a close friend of Al Pacino and Robert de Niro. They fell madly in love and soon started living together. However, in 1977, when he was making what was his fifth and final film, The Deer Hunter, Cazale was diagnosed with a lung tumor that eventually developed into cancer. Streep, who was just beginning her career, didn’t want to leave his side for an instant. They were unable to pay the medical bills, so she decided to shoot a series in Austria, just for the money, as she later conceded. Al Pacino, who drove his friend to radiation therapy sessions, shared in an interview in the early 2000s that Streep was always present: “I’ve hardly ever seen a person so devoted to someone who is falling away like John was. To see her in that act of love for this man was overwhelming. She took care of him like there was nobody else on earth.” Cazale died on March 12, 1978, at the age of 42, when Streep was 28. She promptly fled her New York apartment, fraught with memories, and went to the home of a friend of her brother Harry. That friend was Don Gummer and within six months they were married. Then, Streep was determined to make as few headlines as possible on her private life, and she succeeded in doing so.

Since then, Streep’s relentless and enduring mystique has continued to thrive. She has gradually become the best actress of her generation, and probably of a few others too. She has done so without personal scandals, without cameras at her doorstep, without raucous headlines. This is a rarity in such a fast-paced world where you need to be present every minute, and rather than diminish her reputation, it has allowed the spotlight to be focused more on the “extraordinary characters” she has played than on her as a person. This is a perfect, virtually impossible combination that makes Meryl Streep delightfully fascinating.

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